Loss

a Poem by Raquel Swann dedicated to the memory of JGH

 

The last glimmer of sunshine had faded long ago,

I’ve been here lost in the darkness,

Following paths that lead me nowhere,

Dead ends laced with sadness and despair.

 

Like a poor little mouse in a maze,

Walking around tirelessly looking for exits,

My mind searches for answers,

Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you let me know?

 

Questions circle like buzzards in the desert,

Around the beaten and abused,

The ones who surely will die,

They have already claimed me.

 

I still feel the pain you felt,

Every second of every minute,

Every minute of every hour,

Every hour of every day,

Was that your intention?

 

I still see you floating over rainbows,

Soaring above majestic clouds,

Smiling down upon your legacy,

Your pain has been eased, but mine remains.

 

My mind knows the truth,

My heart will not allow it,

Perhaps I will see you one day amongst the living,

Every time the doorbell rings, I pray to heaven it’s you.

 

Down in this pit, I sit alone awaiting comfort,

Many have tried to lower me a rope,

I only want to climb out if it’s into your arms.

Daddy, I need you now more than ever.

 

I cling to hope that life is the dream,

And I will wake up with you over me,

Kissing me on the forehead,

Telling me it’s time for school.

 

This is my waking nightmare,

How do I finally find peace?

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